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- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- Toads
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
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Tag Archives: Vanguard method
How to spoil someone for work (for ever more)
There were 7 reasons why you shouldn’t touch systems thinking, and here’s an 8th… 8: You might get a sniff of systemsy heaven, but then end up working in command and control hell. Systems thinking makes no promises about being … Continue reading
Posted in systems thinking, systemz comix, targets
Tagged call centre, sales, systems thinking, Vanguard method
7 Comments
Write your own blog post!
Posted in systems thinking, systemz comix, vanguard method
Tagged curiosity, systems thinking, Vanguard method
7 Comments
Why I cannot stand leaders
I just cannot stand leaders. Simply cannot stand the very idea of leaders. Look at them! Look how special they think they are! Look how special we think they are. It’s our own fault, we fetishize them. We call them … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, knowledge, leadership, systems thinking, vanguard method
Tagged deming, systems thinking, Vanguard method
21 Comments
One weird trick to outfox the Henry Ford gambit
I done got a letter from a reader! Here is a dramatic reconstruction…. Remember these two diagrams? THIS one, the usual, the boring old triangle? And then there is this one, the one thats not a triangle, the one that … Continue reading
Fedoras and other hallmarks of failure
Have you noticed the HUGE amount of men in their 20s and 30s who wear Fedoras? A fedora is a hat that Humphrey Bogart or Indiana Jones wears. However the typical fedora wearer these days looks more like this… As Urban Dictionary … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, systems thinking, thinking, tools, vanguard method
Tagged systems thinking, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
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Why targets are good
Targets are good. They work. Comparing this quarters performance with last quarters, is good. It works Benchmarking performance against a group of other organisations, is good. That works too. Calm down! Let’s go back a bit…. Q: What’s the first … Continue reading
Posted in data, systems thinking, targets, thinking, vanguard method
Tagged Data, performance management, performance reports, Vanguard method
2 Comments
7 ways to do the Vanguard Method all wrong
Read this first. It was very popular and there’s marbles in it. If you’re too lazy here’s a summary: I went to the executive leadership team, I talked to them about something that started with studying demand and eventually led to huge … Continue reading
How to break the first rule of systems thinking
The problem with having to go into a room to speak about systems thinking is The First Rule. You know, the first rule… 3 months ago I had to go into the senior leadership team meeting to say what had … Continue reading
Deming sucks
I can’t stand Deming. I used to have a mug with his photo on and a snappy quote, but thats all changed now I think he’s dangerous. Not the old bald dude who was an actual person who did actual … Continue reading
Posted in deming, John Seddon, systems thinking
Tagged deming, systems thinking, Vanguard method
4 Comments
The Highlander principle
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will … Continue reading
How to NAIL it!
You read a management book about the latest thing. It makes out you can do all-sorts of wondrous things like this… But when you try and do it in your workplace it doesn’t quite turn out like it did in … Continue reading
4 steps to win PLUS free Gandhiometer
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” -Gandhi* Ignore If all you’ve got as leverage is anecdote or theory then this is all that going to happen. What would you do? Pay attention to … Continue reading
Posted in change, me doing it, psychology, systems thinking
Tagged change, psychology, Vanguard method
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John Seddon is not systems thinking
Truth or Lie? Read on to find out… One of the cool things about WordPress is that you can see what people have entered into search engines that pointed them to your blog. Some people find mine through phrases such … Continue reading
Posted in John Seddon, systems thinking, thinking, Uncategorized, vanguard method
Tagged systems thinking, Vanguard method
9 Comments
Hitting old women
This photo shows a “careworker” slapping a confused old lady who suffers from Alzheimers. It is from a BBC Panorama documentary about abuse in an old people’s care home called Ash Court. The daughter of this old lady found unexplained … Continue reading
A better mousetrap
“Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door” I have found a better mousetrap! It is easier, better, quicker, and cheaper. But what will people say when I show them it? The mousetrap doesn’t … Continue reading
Magic Goggles
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”. You’ve probably come across this quote, not thinking it applied to you and people like you. When you think of it you probably nod indulgently, imagining some kind of tribesmen cowering beneath … Continue reading
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking
Tagged it depends, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
2 Comments
Documents ‘Я’ Us
Remember when I had a gas leak? Click above, or read it below in 66 dull words. My gas meter was exchanged for a newer gas meter, a few days later there was a lingering strong smell of gas, I … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, plausible but untrue, psychology
Tagged Perspectives, psychology, purpose, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
4 Comments
Magical pixie dust
The following are all real answers given in organisations in answer to the question: “How will we achieve our targets?” “Improvements in service delivery focussing on services which really matter to customers” “Ongoing training and evaluation of training needs. Increase … Continue reading
Which reality do you work in?
You have an idea for a change to the way your service or product is delivered. How do you test this idea? (a) Against your manager. He knows what is acceptable, he knows other managers opinions and preferences and he … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, experiment, systems thinking, very short posts
Tagged Experiment, Vanguard method
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Why onions? (slight return)
Holy Inspirational Petunias!
Command and control makes me sick
And you. And everyone around you. That’s a SCIENTIFIC FACT.
Myths about Systems Thinking
Myth: Systems Thinking is only applicable in areas where a spot of process improvement would be just the ticket.
Posted in all wrong, systems thinking, vanguard method
Tagged it depends, systems thinking, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
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51 things I have learned doing Systems Thinking in Benefits so far.
Listening to demand is exciting, enjoyable and worthwhile I thought I knew about Systems Thinking, turned out I had just memorised content from books. People like looking at control charts You don’t need to follow good design when putting data … Continue reading
80% of BPR projects fail
70% to 80% of BPI/BPR projects fail, the same as the % of projects in general that fail. There is also the well known 98% of companies that don’t see anticipated results from their lean programme There is an excellent article … Continue reading
Posted in experiment, Uncategorized
Tagged all wrong, BPR, Experiment, lean, Vanguard method
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Improve Service, Reduce Costs, Transform Morale
I saw those words on some Vanguard consultants linkedin page. What a neat message. That’s exactly what we are finding Systems Thinking does do. (see following posts on ST in Housing Benefits). My new tagline for my work email. “Improve … Continue reading
purpose from PUSH to PULL
The following types of council services THOUGHT they knew what their purpose was, until they listened to their customers and looked at actual demand on their service. Using data gathered from their customers, listening to the problem the customer had, … Continue reading
Systems thinking in Benefits-before
I have worked at a local authority for several years in performance management, the authority has no background in systems thinking and as far as I am aware no-one else there was interested. I spent my time consistently boring people … Continue reading
things i used to believe in and no longer do-ISO9001
ISO9001! God, what was i thinking? I was a qualifed lead auditor, and i loved it. I know, really. Sadly, here are the reasons I loved ISO9001 The manuals. There are so many manuals. You have your Quality Manual, the ISO9001 … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong
Tagged all wrong, deming, John Seddon, systems thinking, Vanguard method
3 Comments
