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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- Why do you need a hole in your head?
- Ooooohhh Matron!
- Why Not to Trust Statistics
- How to spoil someone for work (for ever more)
- Are you a policy fashion victim?
- Look around my eyes, don’t look into my eyes. LASER BEAMS come out ’em
- The 1 thing nobody has ever said about a scorecard (and the 7 things they often do)
- The Systemsy Policy Officer takes a bow
- E=Q*A FFS!
- Is this true?
- I turned down a 40% pay rise…here’s why!
- I’ve had it with average and why you should too
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Tag Archives: performance reports
Can you count up to 8?
Do you produce loads of whizzy hard performance data? I bet if you do you use one of these clever whizzy performance applications to showcase your wares… There’s lots of different types of these things, and an even larger number of … Continue reading
Posted in data, deming, statistics
Tagged Command and control, davis balestracci, performance reports, performancey
3 Comments
Thor describes my purpose
I sit next to the photocopier at work. About 3 times a day somebody printing some papers off will ask me if I have a stapler they can borrow, to staple their papers together. This is a question I am … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, public sector, purpose, systems thinking
Tagged performance management, performance reports, purpose, thor
12 Comments
The 1 thing nobody has ever said about a scorecard (and the 7 things they often do)
What people often say about scorecards 1. This colour symbol is wrong, shouldn’t it be a green? 2. Why isn’t that an up arrow? 3. There’s a spelling mistake in the comments 4. The formatting is slightly off. Needs more … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control, measures, purpose, questions, systems thinking, targets, thinking
Tagged performance reports, scorecards, systems thinking
6 Comments
All children in Rotherham are safe
All children in Rotherham are safe. Sounds pretty sick doesn’t it? These aren’t my words, they are what the “Performance & Quality” team of Rotherham Council said here. Look…. This is a coloured scorecard, green signifies that that particular “theme” … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control
Tagged performance management, performance reports, rotherham council, systems thinking
How to hide Fred in a performance report
These are clients of an Adult Social Care service, look how unhappy they are… These are the symbols on the performance report for that very same service…. Why are these so different? The faces of the old people are measuring … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, customer, data, systems thinking
Tagged adult social care, performance reports, systems thinking, targets
1 Comment
Why targets are good
Targets are good. They work. Comparing this quarters performance with last quarters, is good. It works Benchmarking performance against a group of other organisations, is good. That works too. Calm down! Let’s go back a bit…. Q: What’s the first … Continue reading
Posted in data, systems thinking, targets, thinking, vanguard method
Tagged Data, performance management, performance reports, Vanguard method
2 Comments
25 things (that just might work) about measuring the right thing
I’ve concocted 25 suggestions, questions, hints and tips for a colleague policy officer who has seen the systemsy light yet still faces the task that everybody else hasn’t. Here they are. One just might work. All might be complete duff. No … Continue reading
