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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- Toads
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
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- don't let the bastards grind you down
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Tag Archives: all wrong
I am totally negative
I am relentlessly negative about all of the following -Targets -Plans -Best practice -Benchmarking -Strategic awaydays -Strategic plans -Strategic anythings -Performance appraisals -Service Standards -Scrums (outside of a rugby game) -Trendlines -Assessments for access to services -Policies -Target operating models … Continue reading
Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
Balloons! Oh Christ no…..that means it’s National Customer Service Week! Again! As this mistake is repeated every year, I’ve decided to start repeating the exact same blog post I first did two years ago. So, here again is Three Reasons Why … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, customer, systems thinking
Tagged all wrong, customer service, fancy dress, staff engagement, systems thinking
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7 ways to do the Vanguard Method all wrong
Read this first. It was very popular and there’s marbles in it. If you’re too lazy here’s a summary: I went to the executive leadership team, I talked to them about something that started with studying demand and eventually led to huge … Continue reading
Mordecai and Rigby clear up a few common misconceptions
Performance Management doesn’t manage performance. Distance from the work doesn’t provide senior leaders with a strategic view. Distance provides distance. Signing off reports does not ensure quality. It ensures they are slightly worse. Not doing the right thing because “we’ve … Continue reading
Saving the world through typing
As you read this lots of keen, dedicated young men and women are improving the world through typing. They think it will. If they didn’t, typing as a job would be silly wouldn’t it? The job of “typist” disappeared along … Continue reading
Posted in plans, systems thinking
Tagged all wrong, command and control thinking, Thinking
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Litmus test
Here is a litmus test. Read this link from Bloomberg Businessweek. What do you think when you read: “I wanted a happy culture. So I fired all the unhappy people.” “If you want an innovative team, you simply can’t include victims. Fire … Continue reading
