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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- Toads
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
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- 95% system 5% individual
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- Data
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- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
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- kittens are evil
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Tag Archives: all wrong
I am totally negative
I am relentlessly negative about all of the following -Targets -Plans -Best practice -Benchmarking -Strategic awaydays -Strategic plans -Strategic anythings -Performance appraisals -Service Standards -Scrums (outside of a rugby game) -Trendlines -Assessments for access to services -Policies -Target operating models … Continue reading
Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
Balloons! Oh Christ no…..that means it’s National Customer Service Week! Again! As this mistake is repeated every year, I’ve decided to start repeating the exact same blog post I first did two years ago. So, here again is Three Reasons Why … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, customer, systems thinking
Tagged all wrong, customer service, fancy dress, staff engagement, systems thinking
3 Comments
7 ways to do the Vanguard Method all wrong
Read this first. It was very popular and there’s marbles in it. If you’re too lazy here’s a summary: I went to the executive leadership team, I talked to them about something that started with studying demand and eventually led to huge … Continue reading
Mordecai and Rigby clear up a few common misconceptions
Performance Management doesn’t manage performance. Distance from the work doesn’t provide senior leaders with a strategic view. Distance provides distance. Signing off reports does not ensure quality. It ensures they are slightly worse. Not doing the right thing because “we’ve … Continue reading
Saving the world through typing
As you read this lots of keen, dedicated young men and women are improving the world through typing. They think it will. If they didn’t, typing as a job would be silly wouldn’t it? The job of “typist” disappeared along … Continue reading
Posted in plans, systems thinking
Tagged all wrong, command and control thinking, Thinking
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Litmus test
Here is a litmus test. Read this link from Bloomberg Businessweek. What do you think when you read: “I wanted a happy culture. So I fired all the unhappy people.” “If you want an innovative team, you simply can’t include victims. Fire … Continue reading
2 minute hate
“I am a born leader. I lead by example, being quick to make decisions. It’s all about solutions, it’s not about problems” This is Jade Nash. You know her, she might sit opposite you. She might be your boss. Heaven … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, leadership, psychology
Tagged all wrong, command and control thinking
3 Comments
Stick around, you might learn something
Look at your desk. Go on. Now look at the photo. Do they look similar? If so, congratulations! You are LEAN! This photo tells the infamous story of how the DWP approached improving its service by putting tape on staff … Continue reading
Posted in command and control
Tagged all wrong, command and control thinking, lean thinking, prince2
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A tawdry end
As you are no doubt aware, I had a gas leak. I complained about it, and there was a to-do over whether some boxes were ticked, or whether gas leaked out of a pipe. Both can’t be true, obviously. It … Continue reading
Desk muppet
“It’s time to play the music It’s time to light the lights” Ever since I found out about systems thinking the world of conventional work, any work, has seemed more and more surreal. “It’s time to meet the Muppets on … Continue reading
How to communicate with your customers
From this brilliant article in the Guardian, asking the people who set prices why certain things are so expensive. Below is an extract from the section on why train tickets are so expensive and difficult to understand for customers. GW … Continue reading
Thinkpurpose of chocolate
It’s 5 days after Easter and the local supermarket has piles of reduced price chocolate Easter eggs by the checkouts. The egg above is a premium brand of milk chocolate, organic and contains a luxurious 37% cocoa solids, high for … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, clarity of purpose, human brains are weird, psychology, systems thinking, Uncategorized
Tagged all wrong, purpose
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Five things to feed a hungry filing cabinet
There’s nothing sadder than an empty filing cabinet. Eliminate the hunger of YOUR filing cabinets by feeding them this nutritious diet of paper-based work substitutes. 1: An appraisal form. Typed up. This will lead to a very different approach to managing … Continue reading
7 reasons you shouldn’t touch systems thinking
It’s not all cream cakes and beer in systems thinking. Here’s seven things you’ll have to put up with if you start getting curious and learning. You’ll still work in command-and-control land. Everything around you won’t have changed but you … Continue reading
Who’s trained the system?
A colleague is leaving and is clearing their desk and cupboards of decades of training manuals, never used, as the training was never used. It is like unearthing the last few decades of training fads that have plagued the public sector. … Continue reading
What not to do
First act. Find data to justify yourself. Move onto something else. Repeat. – Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
80% of BPR projects fail
70% to 80% of BPI/BPR projects fail, the same as the % of projects in general that fail. There is also the well known 98% of companies that don’t see anticipated results from their lean programme There is an excellent article … Continue reading
Posted in experiment, Uncategorized
Tagged all wrong, BPR, Experiment, lean, Vanguard method
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things i used to believe in and no longer do-ISO9001
ISO9001! God, what was i thinking? I was a qualifed lead auditor, and i loved it. I know, really. Sadly, here are the reasons I loved ISO9001 The manuals. There are so many manuals. You have your Quality Manual, the ISO9001 … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong
Tagged all wrong, deming, John Seddon, systems thinking, Vanguard method
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