Category Archives: very short posts

Toads

This gallery contains 3 photos.

“Okay, say you go into the break room, and a couple people you like are there, say someone’s telling a funny story, you laugh a little, you feel included, everyone’s so funny, you go back to your desk with a … Continue reading

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There really is only one test!

Attention performance people! Attention people who use numbers for performance! That’s you! You have one job! One job only! The purpose of your job, listen up, here it is, I’m about to tell you….it is to find out… “Is the … Continue reading

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Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.

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Is this true?

Every organisation is a learning organisation. It’s just that most aren’t very good at it at all. Yes, I said it. A learning organisation is just any organisation, whether it chooses to learn how to get better at pursuing its … Continue reading

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The Systems Thinking Drinking Game

If you’ve been trying to introduce systems thinking into your organisation for a bit,  you’ll have heard the same things trotted out as excuses reasons why not give it a go. So here’s The Systems Thinking Drinking Game! It will … Continue reading

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A spotters guide to strategy.

You’ll not find it in the expected places… Strategy is not in a PowerPoint or a document. Strategy doesn’t happen in meeting rooms or on the top floor. Strategy is in management thinking about work, their assumptions about how it … Continue reading

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Learning is a thing

Today I learnt that… Nope, it’s gone.

Posted in deming, knowledge, learning, questions, systems thinking, very short posts | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Friday 12th July, 2013

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Definition of work

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Graphic content

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Drip..drip…drip

“Just rang for a taxi – had an automated system in saying do you want to be picked up from X. Which I did so pressed 1….20 mins later no taxi so I rang them. Woman says ‘did you use … Continue reading

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Arse about face

We are coming up with this years Council Plan right now. There are a different amount of groupings, 3 so far, last year there were 5. They might be called themes, last year they were called priorities. Each year we … Continue reading

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How to be Topp

“You don’t eat to be “the best” taster the world, don’t take a stroll to be “the best” stroller in the world, don’t push buttons in an elevator to be the best button pusher in the world. So if you … Continue reading

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Work/Play

A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply … Continue reading

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The Schleswig-Holstein Question

Here is a test, a maxim and a principle to guide you on your way. 1: The Dick Gregory Better Mousetrap test “When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!” … Continue reading

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Space Oddity

This is an actual astronaut, who recorded this IN SPACE and posted to YouTube last night as he is leaving the International Space Station and returning to Earth today. Beyond mindblown that you can post to YouTube from space. A … Continue reading

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13 reasons why

Here are 13 reasons why you should buy the latest IT solution you will grow a thick mane of glossy lustrous hair. Chestnut brown. if you are small, you’ll grow big. and if you’re thick, you’ll turn clever. Yes, both. … Continue reading

Posted in command and control, plausible but untrue, public sector, very short posts | Tagged | 1 Comment

Zen and the art of the Policy Officer

You don’t have to spend decades in a Buddhist monastery staring at a wall to get enlightenment. Become a Policy Officer in a Local Authority! Here are 3 Eastern concepts I have become fully conversant with due to following the austere calling … Continue reading

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Sage advice from the bus-stop

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Win the argument, lose the sale

[Image by acb.]

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3 ways you are fooled by randomness

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9 simple reasons why performance management is bollocks

There is no such thing as “performance” to be “managed” Plans are monitored instead of reality. It involves people completely ignorant about an area of complex work making judgements on it using a coloured shape. Invariably a green one. It … Continue reading

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Curious?

“be curious read widely try new things what people call intelligence just boils down to curiosity” aaron swartz (1986-2013)

Posted in knowledge, learning, questions, very short posts | Tagged | 3 Comments

A strategy amuse-bouche

Thinking dominates all. There is nothing more strategic than changing the way management think. In fact if it doesn’t change the thinking, it’s not strategic.

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Views not my own

“ALL CONTENT IS MY OPINION AND NOTHING SHOULD BE INTERPRETED AS BEING ENDORSED BY MY EMPLOYER. THIS IS A PERSONAL BLOG.” “Views my own, not employers” “Tweeting in a personal capacity only, not in a professional capacity” The above are … Continue reading

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Views not my own

I buggered up again, it’s not here, it’s there. I will be manually correcting my blogs stats at the end of the month to ensure there are no double-counting. In the meanwhile, here is a picture of a cat doing … Continue reading

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A circular argument

 “The thing is when you start looking at the work, you see that the measures don’t tell you anything about how things really are.” “But they want numbers for when Joe Resident asks for example, ‘What is the council doing … Continue reading

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7 women questioning strategy

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Nanny McPhee explains the role of the internal consultant

“When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go”

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Today’s to-do list

Is complete. By asking people about purpose, “what matters” and what is the problem we are really trying to solve. Short words, but powerful in the correct order. More powerful than this too… A large hammer. I asked for a … Continue reading

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Meet Henry

This man is Henry Rollins. He is one mean mother, as you can probably tell. He is also a publisher, stand up comedian, poet and bodybuilder. This is from his essay where he talks about lifting weights, something he credits … Continue reading

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How to start a revolution in 5 easy steps

Keep pointing at the anomalies and failures in the old paradigm Exploit managers dissatisfaction by finding out the things that keep them awake at night, and discuss with them what hasn’t worked. Come yourself, loudly, with assurance, from the new one Create … Continue reading

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chocolate-bar-chart

A bar chart of the popularity of chocolates in an office in the run up to Christmas

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Burning a snot omelette

Here’s something, it is an online data visualisation tool, if you will. And Ofsted are sure you really will. It allows “people to analyse inspection data in a simple and visual way; you can compare and contrast performance in inspections … Continue reading

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Why changing anything is hard (Part 34[c])

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What you can’t do and what you can

What you can’t do: deliver efficiencies create a consensus achieve an outcome build a team secure funds drive improvement motivate staff realise savings fulfil requirements lead a team align priorities meet objectives What you can do: do things find out about … Continue reading

Posted in experiment, plans, systems thinking, very short posts | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Ooooohhh Matron!

  Quick! This patient is haemorrhaging fast! We need to get him to the Lean Project Room! Nurse, 30 mils of Takttime and VSM intravenous! Intubate and bag him! He’s going AS-IS!

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Needy kitten

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A lesson for system thinkers anywhere at any time

“My main work has concerned judgment and decision-making. But I never felt I was studying the stupidity of mankind in the third person. I always felt I was studying my own mistakes.”   Daniel Kahneman  [link] Go on, Google him here and read more, he’s … Continue reading

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This years restructure

“We trained hard . . . but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by … Continue reading

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Litmus test

Here is a litmus test. Read this link from Bloomberg Businessweek.  What do you think when you read: “I wanted a happy culture. So I fired all the unhappy people.”  “If you want an innovative team, you simply can’t include victims. Fire … Continue reading

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3 questions about purpose for Monday mornings

In your organisation… Does your job get in the way of doing your job? Is knowing your place rewarded more than questioning your purpose?  Is asking “why?” considered rude?

Posted in purpose, systems thinking, Uncategorized, very short posts | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Punching above your weight

What would give you extra prowess in the meeting room? More bang for your buck? Data! But not just any data, made-up data. This is my secret. The best data is made-up. Pretend! Nobody ever has real data, not to … Continue reading

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What’s my purpose?

“I want to do brilliant work, with brilliant people.” Not a question I was asked at my annual performance appraisal this week. The only other question I would have wanted asked by a manager is “How can I help you … Continue reading

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Three reasons why you’re wrong

“It depends” and you forgot that it does or thought that it didn’t. But it always does. You’re actually right! But you answered the wrong question. See point 1, above You think there actually is an answer. There isn’t, there’s … Continue reading

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A Koch in a car

This man (above) is in a car aiming a Heckler and Koch gun at the photographer. This Koch in a car got away with it this week following pressure from the UK government on the French police to not pursue … Continue reading

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Magical thinking

“New Customer Service Standards:- New Customer Service Standards have been launched. Cards, leaflets and posters will now be appearing round the building to reinforce this message to all staff.” Appeared today. Will take effect when magical pixie dust has been … Continue reading

Posted in command and control, human brains are weird, plausible but untrue, setting a numerical target is like..., Uncategorized, very short posts | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Desk muppet

“It’s time to play the music It’s time to light the lights” Ever since I found out about systems thinking the world of conventional work, any work, has seemed more and more surreal. “It’s time to meet the Muppets on … Continue reading

Posted in all wrong, human brains are weird, plausible but untrue, systems thinking, Uncategorized, very short posts | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Map versus Territory

The nice lady at work who is in charge of GIS (Geographical Information Mapping) was showing me a very clever piece of software that showed in 3D the borough with each ward’s height relative to an indicator like % of … Continue reading

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A prediction, a plan, a wish or a warning?

“The individual, once transformed, will: Set an example Be a good listener, but will not compromise Continually teach other people Help people to pull away from their current practice and beliefs and move into the new philosophy without a feeling … Continue reading

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