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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- all wrong change clarity of purpose command and control communication customer data deming experiment human brains are weird information knowledge leadership learning me doing it plans plausible but untrue psychology public sector purpose questions statistics systems thinking systems thinking in housing benefits systemz comix targets thinking Uncategorized vanguard method very short posts
- 95% system 5% individual
- all wrong
- ashbys law
- Call centres
- chris argyris
- clarity of purpose
- cognitive bias
- Command and control
- command and control thinking
- control charts
- customer service
- daniel kahneman
- defensive culture
- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
- failure demand
- get knowledge
- John Seddon
- kittens are evil
- lean thinking
- local authority
- made to stick
- nassim taleb
- performance management
- performance reports
- policy officer
- public sector
- Seth Godin
- signal and noise
- single loop learning
- some people hate systems thinking
- systems thinking
- systems thinking fundamentals
- systemz comix
- thinking not tools
- thinking system performance
- Vanguard method
- Very short posts
- Zombie Deming
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Look out the window. If you’re in the UK bet the weather’s grim. Dull overcast, grey clouds stretching across to the horizon. Where’s the sun gone? Nowhere! It’s still there. Ever been in a plane when the plane is ascending, … Continue reading
See that? The Badger’s Mouth. You know. The most famous battle in the world? No? Really? The battle of Badger Mouth was the bloodiest battle ever on Earth. More humans killed each other in that battle than in any other. … Continue reading
I am an expert at doing things wrong which is why you can trust me. I have two areas of expertise. I am an expert at doing the wrong thing right I have spent years working at the heart of … Continue reading
“Great minds talk about ideas Average minds talk about events Small minds talk about people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt Your task today at work is to see the ideas and thinking that lie behind Tuesday 16th October 2012 and avoid the … Continue reading
Hello Peter! Hello Jane! Do you know where the data is? Let’s go for look for it! Books! That’s a good idea! But not there Jane. Try again! Not in there! Not down there either! Where could it be? Is … Continue reading
Oh dear. With Zombie Deming on the hunt “sharing good practice” is as dangerous to the integrity of your skull as rubbing raw liver on your head and sticking it in a lions cage. Can we guess the thinking behind … Continue reading
I don’t have any friends at work. Don’t feel sorry for me though, because probably neither do you. People act as if they have friends at work though. They go on lunches, team away days, team nights out. They buy … Continue reading
Oh dear! Somebody should have warned him! So, what would cause a perfectly sane manager to stick “WORK HARDER” posters up and not expect to be lynched? Command and control thinking as at it’s heart control through commands. The purpose … Continue reading
Deming is celebrating the return in 2 weeks of The Walking Dead by arising from his grave and continuing his hunt for bad thinking-and live humans. Being undead hasn’t lessened the old coves infamously short temper, if anything it has made it … Continue reading
I got bored with not blogging and couldn’t wait till Movember so welcome back to Fallacy Friday! This is part two of a major new series that on sporadic Fridays explores two common things that everybody does but nobody knows … Continue reading
Back in Movember.
An example of the wire cage which East Poplar borough council in London proposed to fix to the outside of their tenement windows, so that babies could benefit from fresh air and sunshine in dwellings that didn’t have access to … Continue reading
Welcome to Fallacy Friday! This is part one of a major new series that will every Friday explore two common things that everybody does that nobody knows they’re doing wrong! 1: Pooing Everybody poos, right? But if you use that … Continue reading
That colour is the average colour of the universe. Really. It is called Cosmic Latte, if your interested in getting some paint for your living room. “Oh, youve decorated?” a friend will say. “Is it Misty Buff?“, they will ask. … Continue reading
Think of “Sex and the City”. Now stop, you’re probably at work. Each episode has some kind of journey where the characters face some minor turmoil, but through laughter (not necessarily ours) and a few tears, with the support of … Continue reading
When management in command and control organisations get into rooms to tell others about how well they are doing, there is actually only one set of statements used but they can be recycled endlessly in different permutations to tell the … Continue reading
A bellwether is a sheep that leads the flock. It is a castrated ram, not in charge of the flock but it still has followers, as they shuffle after him sheeplike. No, not sheeplike. Just like the sheep they actually … Continue reading
Truth or Lie? Read on to find out… One of the cool things about WordPress is that you can see what people have entered into search engines that pointed them to your blog. Some people find mine through phrases such … Continue reading
People will talk about work confidently, ignoring the glaring gaps, missing and unaddressed issues as if somebody somewhere obviously has a handle on it all and is organising the whole thing. They all know nobody does, but everybody talks as … Continue reading
Take my Astronaut quiz! There is a reason for this, I am going somewhere with it. The quiz will be open all week, stuck to the top of the front page, and the results will come out next Thursday 20th. You can only enter … Continue reading
It is an iron clad law that a blogger eventually blogs about blogging. As this is the end of my first year, it seems right to do it now. I promise I will only do this once every 12th September. … Continue reading
Oh what would you do if your heart was torn in two, between systems and lean when on both you are quite keen? they both can’t mentally co-exist both the top of your internal list they’d fight and cuss and … Continue reading
“the direction in which a compass needle normally points, towards the horizon on the left-hand side of a person facing east, or the part of the horizon lying in this direction” Now you have those careful clear words from the … Continue reading
Are you reading this at work? Are you working in a place where the fact that something is undiscussable is itself undiscussable? When an email pop-up appears are you relieved? Do you despair when someone replies to a question with … Continue reading
Benchmarking: I know with complete certainty it’s a pile of poo, but I’ve never actually seen any done. I’m not sure it ever actually happens. Does it exist? Is it like coaches of tourists going to Loch Ness to see … Continue reading
Jargon is rarely as beautiful as that. But it’s useful which is why we keep on inventing more of it. Here’s some more jargon that people use at work. Sensei Muda Kaizen Poke yoke Gemba Kaikaku Hate me yet? Ok, … Continue reading
In Oxford in the 1950s, there was a fantastic doctor, who was very unusual, named Alice Stewart. Alice was unusual partly because, of course, she was a woman, which was pretty rare in the 1950s. And she was brilliant, she … Continue reading
“When a culture doesn’t know how to think critically, then all critical thinking is viewed as cynicism, and disagreement is viewed as hate.” Glenn Packiam
“It’s about building a system that’s very resilient and sustainable. In the past what Britain has done has invested in individuals and coaches. But it didn’t build a system.” Baroness Sue Campbell, Chair UK Sport. 15 minutes ago on BBC1. … Continue reading
Originally posted on Minnesota Transplant:
Symbols remind us of what’s important. A wedding ring symbolizes a commitment. A lushly green, well-watered lawn symbolizes suburban perfection. A signed baseball symbolizes a brush with fame. For my uncle, a perfect haystack symbolizes…
Waves aren’t made of water, just like sound isn’t made of air. Waves just travel through water, like sound travels through air. Tcch, Zen, eh? The water that you see moving boats up and down isn’t the wave. The wave is … Continue reading
The fish rots from the head down. Nobody would eat a rotten fish by covering the maggot ridden parts with a nice creamy sauce, but I’ve lost count of work rotten from the start that people have made the best … Continue reading
There are a fair few people who have signed up to this blog with their work email addresses. As I too have to work to pay for all the onions this blog gets through, I know that my work email wouldn’t allow … Continue reading
These two police detectives are talking about a suspect… “You still don’t think it’s him?” “I didn’t say that” “You don’t want to be overly sure?” “I want to be sure when I am sure” There’s a difference between being … Continue reading
Long live the King! But what are the four words that come before those ones? The King is dead. Long live the King! In the olden days, or in England which is the same thing, when a monarch died those … Continue reading
People will sit in meeting rooms and do anything: strategy away days unconferences networking benchmarking building a shared story sessions communities of practice world cafes team building Absolutely anything capacity building workshops consensus building work planning garland arranging Jar Jar … Continue reading
Was it: to increase your customer satisfaction score? to increase the % of calls you answer? to increase the % of calls you answer within 20 seconds? to decrease your “wrap-time”? to increase the % of calls you handle between … Continue reading
Watch this. Now you know how to cure the world of all known diseases. Simply: Become a doctor; Discover a marvellous cure for something; Wait till the medical profession really starts to take notice of you; Jolly well tell them … Continue reading
This man has more than the average number of legs for an Australian… ..and so does this Australian have more than the average number of legs too. How is this? There are a very few Australians with no legs, few Australians … Continue reading
In your organisation… Does your job get in the way of doing your job? Is knowing your place rewarded more than questioning your purpose? Is asking “why?” considered rude?
Can you do any of the following: Pay a mortgage or rent? Rear a child? Own, run and drive a car? Choose, book and go on holiday? Go shopping, buy clothes, meet new people and converse? If so, you are … Continue reading
“What I was given to study in school I have forgotten; what I decided to read on my own, I still remember.” Nassim Taleb
Think of a canal lock Water is queued on one side of the lock waiting to move to the other side of the lock. It is moved in a batch up or down to the other side of the lock. … Continue reading
Organisations are layer cakes. There is a long way between the cherries on the top and the damp base at the bottom. Answer these 9 questions to align yourself in the cake and find out what that means for you … Continue reading
You have an invisible illness. It is 2010, you have been sitting in an Accident & Emergency waiting room for 3 hours and 50 minutes waiting to be seen. Of the people before you who has been seen, on average … Continue reading
The last post was about there being “no true value” of a measure, unless you define what you mean to measure, and that the way to know what you are supposed to be measuring is to define measure by purpose. … Continue reading