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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- Why do you need a hole in your head?
- Ooooohhh Matron!
- Why Not to Trust Statistics
- How to spoil someone for work (for ever more)
- Are you a policy fashion victim?
- Look around my eyes, don’t look into my eyes. LASER BEAMS come out ’em
- The 1 thing nobody has ever said about a scorecard (and the 7 things they often do)
- The Systemsy Policy Officer takes a bow
- E=Q*A FFS!
- Is this true?
- I turned down a 40% pay rise…here’s why!
- I’ve had it with average and why you should too
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Category Archives: tools
The Law Of The Instrument
I can’t stand digital by default. -How about analogue by default instead? I can’t stand digital evangelists. -How about analogue evangelists instead? I can’t stand Head of Digital. -How about Head of Analogue instead? I can’t stand digital offering. -How about … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control, public sector, systems thinking, tools
Tagged digital, digital by default, IT, TECHNOLOGY
20 Comments
Why public sector IT is like a fart
A council faced with an IT product WILL buy it in the end. It’s like holding in a fart. Sooner or later it’s going to happen, and nothing can hold it back forever.
Posted in command and control, public sector, RuinedByBestEfforts, systems thinking, tools
Tagged Command and control, IT, systems thinking, tools
How to run a call centre
The following story was provided by a fellow onion working somewhere in the world. I’ve changed the details to provide anonymity. …there was a company that wanted to find out how to sell more to its customers. It bought a voice recognition … Continue reading
Posted in RuinedByBestEfforts, systemz comix, targets, tools
Tagged Call centres, IT, systems thinking, targets
Fedoras and other hallmarks of failure
Have you noticed the HUGE amount of men in their 20s and 30s who wear Fedoras? A fedora is a hat that Humphrey Bogart or Indiana Jones wears. However the typical fedora wearer these days looks more like this… As Urban Dictionary … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, systems thinking, thinking, tools, vanguard method
Tagged systems thinking, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
Kanban dos and don’ts
An Infographic I did for my team when we introduced a kanban for team work. Not necessarily correctly, or usefully, but there it is anyway blocking my view out the window. Any mistakes or errors of understanding or communication, all … Continue reading
Enter Kanban
Now scroll down. All the way down here please. Almost there. 5. 4 3 2 1 About here will do. Now, list as many of those objects as you can. After you’ve done that scroll down. More please. More than … Continue reading
Digital by default
There are few things in life more complex than buying a loaf of bread. But there are some.
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking, tools, Uncategorized
Tagged ashbys law, digital by default
1 Comment
