- 437,436 views
Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- all wrong change clarity of purpose command and control communication customer data deming experiment human brains are weird information knowledge leadership learning me doing it plans plausible but untrue psychology public sector purpose questions statistics systems thinking systems thinking in housing benefits systemz comix targets thinking Uncategorized vanguard method very short posts
- 95% system 5% individual
- all wrong
- ashbys law
- Call centres
- chris argyris
- clarity of purpose
- cognitive bias
- Command and control
- command and control thinking
- control charts
- customer service
- daniel kahneman
- defensive culture
- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
- failure demand
- get knowledge
- John Seddon
- kittens are evil
- lean thinking
- local authority
- made to stick
- nassim taleb
- performance management
- performance reports
- policy officer
- public sector
- Seth Godin
- signal and noise
- single loop learning
- some people hate systems thinking
- systems thinking
- systems thinking fundamentals
- systemz comix
- thinking not tools
- thinking system performance
- Vanguard method
- Very short posts
- Zombie Deming
Category Archives: systems thinking
Every organisation is a learning organisation. It’s just that most aren’t very good at it at all. Yes, I said it. A learning organisation is just any organisation, whether it chooses to learn how to get better at pursuing its … Continue reading
Years ago I turned down opportunity of a 40% pay rise. Here’s what happened…. When I came into work there were 4 emails from colleagues, all saying the same thing… APPLY FOR THIS JOB. A job was advertised paid more, … Continue reading
Who’s the biggest out of these two guys? Is it the guy on the left? He’s barrel chested, bulky looking guy. Could be. But he’s kind of short. What about the guy on the right? He’s biggest cos he’s taller? … Continue reading
As Jay Z asserts, there is plenty wrong with performance management. And here’s 3 more! Name The reverse pantomime horse gambit What is it? An organisation decides to do something, writes down a group of words and calls it an objective/goal/priority AND THEREFORE IT … Continue reading
This is a roulette wheel. It is a machine for producing numbers between 0 and 36. Sometimes it produces a 7… Then sometimes it produces a 13… If a 7 is produced on one spin and a 13 on the … Continue reading
Q: How do you learn Kung Fu? A: Attend a 1 hour training session in Kung Fu. Hey presto…. April Fool! That won’t work, if you want to know Kung Fu you’d have to train for years. One hour will do … Continue reading
1: Men with pens in rooms If you’re in a room with men with pens, just leave. It will inevitably result in documents. Certain and self assured documents. That’s what the pens are for. If you’re in a room with … Continue reading
Imagine you go to a bus-stop and take out a ten pound note and shout to the people waiting…. Everybody will think you’re mad and ignore you. Now imagine you took that £10 and posted it through your neighbour’s letterbox. … Continue reading
A Service Level Agreement sounds so reasonable. Eminently reasonable. It sets out explicitly what will be done for a customer. A service level agreement (SLA) is a contract between a service provider (either internal or external) and the end user … Continue reading
I have a job! A proper job which pays taxes, but I’m no hard working taxpayer. This is not because I’m bone idle, though I am, but because “hard working taxpayers” don’t exist. There are people who work hard at a job, … Continue reading
I’ve never been trained in using control charts, never passed a test or worked with anyone who’s knowledgeable in them. Everything I’ve learned has been off of the Internet Or books, books as well, they’re famously good for learning. Cunninghams Law … Continue reading
Say the phrase “Command and control management” out loud. Doesn’t sound nice does it? What do you think when you hear it? Things like… Call centre staff told to poo on their own time. Hospital patients dying to meet hospital targets. … Continue reading
No fresh hell sweetie. Just the latest incarnation of a stale and very familiar hell. Do you recognise this… yawning at yet another exactly-the-same organisational transformation? wiping sleep out of your eyes at yet another whizz-bang IT venture that’ll save lots … Continue reading
Lots of organisations try to change culture. They try and change that loads. But nobody really knows what it is. Not enough to point at and say “that’s culture there” and “that isn’t“. The Harvard Business Review says… “there is … Continue reading
Miss Colombia was crowned Miss Universe 2015! And THEN a few minutes later, the tiara was removed from her head, the sash from her shoulders and put on Miss Philippines. Miss Philippines was now Miss Universe instead of poor Miss … Continue reading
We were not born critical of existing society. There was a moment in our lives (or a month, or a year) when certain facts appeared before us, startled us, and then caused us to question beliefs that were strongly fixed … Continue reading
Remember last week’s post told you all about How To Write A Report? To write a lush report you’ve got to remember not to just report numbers and facts but actually do some analysing because… The purpose of analysis is … Continue reading
Hi! If you’re anything like me, you’re an office drone who types for a living. It isn’t as important as making things or healing people, but it IS a living. One of the main tasks of modern-day typists like me is … Continue reading
Exactly a week ago I invited readers to send in their own stories about how offering data, creating normative learning opportunities and plain nagging had resulted in some type of systemsy incident. That it is possible to create change upwards … Continue reading
I just cannot stand leaders. Simply cannot stand the very idea of leaders. Look at them! Look how special they think they are! Look how special we think they are. It’s our own fault, we fetishize them. We call them … Continue reading
*****The gifs take a while to load, they’re not just photos but actually move. Worth the wait. **** Possibly the funkiest take down of Organisational Transformation programmes you’ll see this week…. Like all good systems thinkers everywhere Chris Pratt, or … Continue reading
I came across a job description. It was for a Business Transformation Improvement type. The document contains the word “efficiency” or variations thereof, 4 times. All in the context of “making” efficiencies. The word “effective”, or variations thereof, is in … Continue reading
Tomorrow my blog should hit a quarter of a million views. Yay me. This actually means nothing at all. It’s an arbitrary number that allows me to use the word “million” and thus transfer some glamour onto the act of … Continue reading
Once upon a time I had to write a plan. I was the Directorate Performance Management officer, so I wrote the Directorate Plan. I sat at my dining room table and I WROTE A PLAN. Except I didn’t. I wrote on … Continue reading
This is the story of a teacher in a UK school who was set a target of 75% exam pass rate. This summer the pass rate was 65%. If we ignore all the things we know about measures and targets … Continue reading
This settee is crucial to this post , so take a good look at it. Harder. Go on, put your nose right up to it. This nasty looking thing used to be in my living room, there’s paint on it … Continue reading
If you’ve been trying to introduce systems thinking into your organisation for a bit, you’ll have heard the same things trotted out as excuses reasons why not give it a go. So here’s The Systems Thinking Drinking Game! It will … Continue reading
That man was a Nazi, and this blog has no truck with that, but I have a similar reaction to talk of organisational culture, in particular, values I don’t get values. I think they’ve been spoiled for me by too … Continue reading
How can you tell if you’ve been sold a pup? If some performance spod is fobbing you off with nonsense instead of good sound performance information? Just check what’s put in front of you against this 5 point guide to … Continue reading
Remember the house that looks like Hitler? Course you do, it’s a house that looks like Hitler. What’s to forget? There’s loads of things that look like faces. There is the tampon machine that just loves checkin’ the ladies out… … Continue reading
I done got a letter from a reader! Here is a dramatic reconstruction…. Remember these two diagrams? THIS one, the usual, the boring old triangle? And then there is this one, the one thats not a triangle, the one that … Continue reading
For the past two years or so you’ve been getting bills from npower for gas. But you’ve had no gas supply in your flat for about 20 years when you had the boiler and meter taken out, and your heating … Continue reading
See, even Hitler was driven to tears by irrational target based standard setting.
I’ve got an eleven year old in final year of primary school and Ofsted are ruining his education. Next week is SATS week. In that week children of the same age all around the country will be tested on how … Continue reading
In the most strategic of rooms in my building, I found an agenda on a flipchart. It is not exceptional, it is typical. This probably happens in your building. This is how decisions are made…. *the photo is real **the words … Continue reading
Meet the loneliest whale in the world. She doesn’t speak the same language as other whales so they can’t hear her. This is the same as systemsy talking. Once your mental model changes from stupid ol’ command and control to … Continue reading
Step 1: Do something that doesn’t solve the customer’s problem for them. Step 2: Err… that’s it. A fellow onion informs me of the fantastic efforts of a Government benefits department to create phonecalls from nothing. The department has to pay … Continue reading
This is Michael Portillo on my telly five minutes ago on BBC1 TV programme “This Week” speaking complete… He was talking about a revolting scandal in a hospital that came to light. In a hospital midwives who were infatuated with … Continue reading
******I’ve had feedback that these Gifs will take forever to load. They’re not static pics. That’s just your net speed. But it’s worth the wait, they’re HILARIOUS I promise you ******* There’s a cult of work as pure activity in … Continue reading
A council faced with an IT product WILL buy it in the end. It’s like holding in a fart. Sooner or later it’s going to happen, and nothing can hold it back forever.
Public Sector bodies waste huge amounts of money on total balls. One of the most futile are the self-created league tables of performance indicators, showing where their organisation is on sorted lists against other similar organisations. Even though the government got rid … Continue reading
“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” Peter Drucker
I was in Chicago airport, drinking from a water fountain, and I saw this out the corner of my eye…. I was intrigued, so I squatted down next to the pillar and read the words… This is telling the poor … Continue reading
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog. Here's an excerpt: Madison Square Garden can seat 20,000 people for a concert. This blog was viewed about 61,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert … Continue reading
Remember when I used to hate triangles? Still do. So here’s my most hate filled post about them from 2 years ago, to advertise ThinkPurpose’s Christmas break. Ho ho ho, etc
There’s always been a strong tang of resigned self pity running through this blog, like the reek of faeces in a brace of grilled andouillettes. This post however should truly please the connoisseur of bleak despair. Read on, and enjoy … Continue reading