Category Archives: setting a numerical target is like…

There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.

This is Performance Cat, and she doesn’t like rubbish performance reporting. And she definitely doesn’t like dumbass explanations for meaningless shapes in graphs… One of the more adorable features of performance reporting in normal ordinary command and control organisations is … Continue reading

Posted in data, information, leadership, questions, setting a numerical target is like..., statistics, systems thinking | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

The sun is in Uranus

This dude is an ASTROLOGER and… This dude is an ASTRONOMER. They LOOK very similar don’t they? Both staring up at stars, they both use telescopes, they both keep accurate records of  where astronomical bodies are in the night-sky. But … Continue reading

Posted in all wrong, command and control, measures, setting a numerical target is like..., statistics, systems thinking | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

How do YOU waste time at work?

1: Performance manage at the strategic level What is said: “We performance manage at a higher level, conversations happen between senior leaders where we challenge delivery of outcomes, and identify where performance is slipping” What actually happens: Managers gossip about … Continue reading

Posted in all wrong, learning, public sector, setting a numerical target is like..., statistics, systemz comix, targets | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Targetitis

You have an invisible illness. It is 2010, you have been sitting in an Accident & Emergency waiting room for 3 hours and 50 minutes waiting to be seen. Of the people before you who has been seen, on average … Continue reading

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Magical thinking

“New Customer Service Standards:- New Customer Service Standards have been launched. Cards, leaflets and posters will now be appearing round the building to reinforce this message to all staff.” Appeared today. Will take effect when magical pixie dust has been … Continue reading

Posted in command and control, human brains are weird, plausible but untrue, setting a numerical target is like..., Uncategorized, very short posts | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Five things to feed a hungry filing cabinet

There’s nothing sadder than an empty filing cabinet.  Eliminate the hunger of YOUR filing cabinets by feeding them this nutritious diet of paper-based work substitutes. 1:  An appraisal form. Typed up. This will lead to a very different approach to managing … Continue reading

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Magical pixie dust

The following are all real answers given in organisations in answer to the question: “How will we achieve our targets?” “Improvements in service delivery focussing on services which really matter to customers” “Ongoing training and evaluation of training needs. Increase … Continue reading

Posted in all wrong, command and control, deming, setting a numerical target is like..., systems thinking, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 4 Comments