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- Toads
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- Why do you need a hole in your head?
- Ooooohhh Matron!
- Why Not to Trust Statistics
- How to spoil someone for work (for ever more)
- Are you a policy fashion victim?
- Look around my eyes, don’t look into my eyes. LASER BEAMS come out ’em
- The 1 thing nobody has ever said about a scorecard (and the 7 things they often do)
- The Systemsy Policy Officer takes a bow
- E=Q*A FFS!
- Is this true?
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Category Archives: setting a numerical target is like…
There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
This is Performance Cat, and she doesn’t like rubbish performance reporting. And she definitely doesn’t like dumbass explanations for meaningless shapes in graphs… One of the more adorable features of performance reporting in normal ordinary command and control organisations is … Continue reading
The sun is in Uranus
This dude is an ASTROLOGER and… This dude is an ASTRONOMER. They LOOK very similar don’t they? Both staring up at stars, they both use telescopes, they both keep accurate records of where astronomical bodies are in the night-sky. But … Continue reading
How do YOU waste time at work?
1: Performance manage at the strategic level What is said: “We performance manage at a higher level, conversations happen between senior leaders where we challenge delivery of outcomes, and identify where performance is slipping” What actually happens: Managers gossip about … Continue reading
Targetitis
You have an invisible illness. It is 2010, you have been sitting in an Accident & Emergency waiting room for 3 hours and 50 minutes waiting to be seen. Of the people before you who has been seen, on average … Continue reading
Magical thinking
“New Customer Service Standards:- New Customer Service Standards have been launched. Cards, leaflets and posters will now be appearing round the building to reinforce this message to all staff.” Appeared today. Will take effect when magical pixie dust has been … Continue reading
Five things to feed a hungry filing cabinet
There’s nothing sadder than an empty filing cabinet. Eliminate the hunger of YOUR filing cabinets by feeding them this nutritious diet of paper-based work substitutes. 1: An appraisal form. Typed up. This will lead to a very different approach to managing … Continue reading
Magical pixie dust
The following are all real answers given in organisations in answer to the question: “How will we achieve our targets?” “Improvements in service delivery focussing on services which really matter to customers” “Ongoing training and evaluation of training needs. Increase … Continue reading
