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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- Toads
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
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- 95% system 5% individual
- all wrong
- appraisals
- ashbys law
- benchmarking
- blogging
- Call centres
- change
- chris argyris
- clarity of purpose
- cognitive bias
- Command and control
- command and control thinking
- communication
- control charts
- customer
- customer service
- daniel kahneman
- Data
- defensive culture
- deming
- documents
- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
- engagement
- Experiment
- failure demand
- Flow
- get knowledge
- IT
- John Seddon
- kittens are evil
- leaders
- lean
- lean thinking
- learning
- local authority
- made to stick
- measures
- meetings
- motivation
- nassim taleb
- OBA
- Ofsted
- performance management
- performance reports
- Perspectives
- policy officer
- posiwid
- prince2
- psychology
- public sector
- purpose
- questions
- reports
- sethgodin
- Seth Godin
- signal and noise
- single loop learning
- some people hate systems thinking
- statistics
- systems thinking
- systems thinking fundamentals
- systemz comix
- targets
- teams
- theory
- Thinking
- thinking not tools
- thinking system performance
- value
- Vanguard method
- variation
- Very short posts
- Zombie Deming
Category Archives: plausible but untrue
How to have an organisational detox!
Ever wanted to empty your mind of organisational bumf? Start again with a fresh clear mind, untainted by this year’s key strategic priority aims? This seasons value statements cluttering your head up too much to think straight? Have an organisational detox! The … Continue reading
Look around my eyes, don’t look into my eyes. LASER BEAMS come out ’em
I am trained in advanced persuasion and negotiation. Advanced, mind. So much so that you really should look around my eyes, not into my eyes, cos God knows what I could do with my madd skillz in brain manipulation. This … Continue reading
Posted in experiment, plausible, plausible but untrue, systems thinking, thinking
Tagged Experiment, learning, persuade, selling
2 Comments
E=Q*A FFS!
In my last post we all had a good giggle about how some improvement methods relegate the actual improvement to an afterthought, with managers doing it as a result of being sold and persuaded of a really good idea provided to … Continue reading
The one thing you shouldn’t bother changing and the one thing you should
Lots of organisations try to change culture. They try and change that loads. But nobody really knows what it is. Not enough to point at and say “that’s culture there” and “that isn’t“. The Harvard Business Review says… “there is … Continue reading
Posted in change, command and control, plausible but untrue, psychology, systems thinking
Tagged change, culture, defensive culture, double loop learning, learning
13 Comments
One weird trick to outfox the Henry Ford gambit
I done got a letter from a reader! Here is a dramatic reconstruction…. Remember these two diagrams? THIS one, the usual, the boring old triangle? And then there is this one, the one thats not a triangle, the one that … Continue reading
3 reasons why National Customer Service Week is rubbish
It’s National Customer Service Week! Celebrate! Here at ThinkPurpose we love customers so we’d like to tell you about a fantastic event dedicated to improving service for the customer. Set up by the Institute [fancy!] of Customer Service … Continue reading
Posted in customer, plausible but untrue, systems thinking, vanguard method
Tagged customer service, systems thinking
5 Comments
Stay safe, stay stupid
THANKS ZOMBIE DEMING! Enough of systems thinking, let’s talk stupid. Stupid is normally easy to spot. It’s walking into doors, slipping over banana skins and the like. But what happens if “stupid” is so normal, that nobody notices it? What … Continue reading
Quick! To the Puppy Room!
Where could stressed staff retreat to to escape the hurly burly of organisational life? The endless complexity, troubling questions with no immediate answers and the work that won’t work, where to go to escape it and be rejuvenated by something … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control, leadership, plausible but untrue, systems thinking
Tagged experiments, meetings
3 Comments
4 ways job interviews ruin organisations
1. They encourage people to pretend to be someone they are not “Lie to us well enough, and your in”, is the very first message a prospective employee receives. This is not a healthy way to start any type of … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, John Seddon, plausible but untrue, systems thinking, thinking
Tagged job interviews, systems thinking
9 Comments
13 reasons why
Here are 13 reasons why you should buy the latest IT solution you will grow a thick mane of glossy lustrous hair. Chestnut brown. if you are small, you’ll grow big. and if you’re thick, you’ll turn clever. Yes, both. … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, plausible but untrue, public sector, very short posts
Tagged IT
1 Comment
9 reasons why command and control organisations despise thinking
“I don’t want that academic or theoretical stuff I want something practical” A huge number of people who work in offices are not paid to dig ditches or split logs, so if they are not paid for their brawn they … Continue reading
Digital by default
There are few things in life more complex than buying a loaf of bread. But there are some.
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking, tools, Uncategorized
Tagged ashbys law, digital by default
1 Comment
Lean, OBA, Prince2 and Slimming World
Can you spot the odd one out? Sorry, I trapped you. There isn’t an odd one out. They’re all the same. When they don’t work they blame the user for not doing it properly. Dieting doesn’t work. Ask the All-Party … Continue reading
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking, tools, Uncategorized
Tagged lean, OBA, outcome based accountability, prince2
4 Comments
98% will die, but only 90% of everything is….
See him? He looks healthy enough doesn’t he? Young, broad grin, full of life, he’s eating vegetables too! Food insurance, that’s what that is. But he’s more likely than ANYBODY to suffer a cardiac arrest (where your heart stops pumping) … Continue reading
Posted in learning, plausible but untrue, systems thinking
Tagged cardiac arrest, questions
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Merry Triangle
I hate triangles. I’ve had countless implausible ones drawn for me earnestly by people trying to demonstrate some linkage or another between things. I am sorely tempted next time it happens to ask “Why equilateral? Are you sure it’s not … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control, plausible but untrue, systemz comix
Tagged Strategic Xmas trees
3 Comments
Needy kitten
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking, systemz comix, thinking, very short posts
Tagged needy kitten, systems thinking, Toolhead
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Absolutely anything
People will sit in meeting rooms and do anything: strategy away days unconferences networking benchmarking building a shared story sessions communities of practice world cafes team building Absolutely anything capacity building workshops consensus building work planning garland arranging Jar Jar … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, human brains are weird, learning, plausible but untrue, Uncategorized
Tagged the latest rubbish
8 Comments
Magical thinking
“New Customer Service Standards:- New Customer Service Standards have been launched. Cards, leaflets and posters will now be appearing round the building to reinforce this message to all staff.” Appeared today. Will take effect when magical pixie dust has been … Continue reading
Desk muppet
“It’s time to play the music It’s time to light the lights” Ever since I found out about systems thinking the world of conventional work, any work, has seemed more and more surreal. “It’s time to meet the Muppets on … Continue reading
Map versus Territory
The nice lady at work who is in charge of GIS (Geographical Information Mapping) was showing me a very clever piece of software that showed in 3D the borough with each ward’s height relative to an indicator like % of … Continue reading
Posted in human brains are weird, knowledge, plausible but untrue, psychology, very short posts
Tagged Data, Tech
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Magic Goggles
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”. You’ve probably come across this quote, not thinking it applied to you and people like you. When you think of it you probably nod indulgently, imagining some kind of tribesmen cowering beneath … Continue reading
Posted in plausible but untrue, systems thinking
Tagged it depends, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
2 Comments
Bicycle Shaped Object
This is not a bicycle. This is a BSO or “bicycle shaped object”. It looks like a bike, it’s shaped like a bike. But it is not a bike. It is something made to look like a bike, so someone … Continue reading
Five things to feed a hungry filing cabinet
There’s nothing sadder than an empty filing cabinet. Eliminate the hunger of YOUR filing cabinets by feeding them this nutritious diet of paper-based work substitutes. 1: An appraisal form. Typed up. This will lead to a very different approach to managing … Continue reading
Documents ‘Я’ Us
Remember when I had a gas leak? Click above, or read it below in 66 dull words. My gas meter was exchanged for a newer gas meter, a few days later there was a lingering strong smell of gas, I … Continue reading
Posted in command and control, plausible but untrue, psychology
Tagged Perspectives, psychology, purpose, thinking not tools, Vanguard method
4 Comments
Everything you could possibly need to know about Six Sigma
What a six sigma black belt sees when he looks in the mirror…. What a six sigma black belt probably looks like… EDIT: The point I am cack-handidly trying to make is nicking the idea of “black-belt” from martial arts … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, plausible but untrue, psychology, systems thinking
Tagged psychology, six sigma, thinking not tools
8 Comments
He who grins wins
Worcestershire Acute Hospitals Trust has spent 10 grand on training staff to smile. This training includes other things, but the aspect that interests me is staff are encouraged to hand out cards to other Doctors and nurses when they spot them not … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, command and control, plausible but untrue, systems thinking
Tagged 95% system 5% individual, psychology
1 Comment
Who’s trained the system?
A colleague is leaving and is clearing their desk and cupboards of decades of training manuals, never used, as the training was never used. It is like unearthing the last few decades of training fads that have plagued the public sector. … Continue reading
Shooting blanks
What is more dangerous than this gun? The air you breathe and Ross Kemp.
I too used to be a toolhead
I genuinely understand the attraction, I used to be one too. But it’s all just bells and whistles. When you strip it all away, tool-led approaches are just old fashioned command and control, as new fangled as the Audit Commission with a … Continue reading
Posted in all wrong, plausible but untrue, systems thinking, very short posts
Tagged lean, systems thinking, thinking not tools
3 Comments
This is the most dangerous place in your organisation
“a desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world”-John Le Carre Trading opinions is not getting knowledge. No matter how many people nod and agree with you.
Fun, love and money. Spot the motivators.
You play for the fun and love of it, not the money. This should be the same as when you’re at work.
Posted in all wrong, plausible but untrue, very short posts
Tagged alfie kohn, motivation
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