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Here’s What You’ve Missed!
- So long, and thanks for all the fish
- How soon is now?
- The Kung Fu Panda principle.
- 3 reasons why I hate pretty graphs
- How to make the world seem REEAAALLLY BOORRRIIIING
- The 2,500 year old lesson everybody ignores cos it’s too hard
- I am a police officer.
- When is a team meeting NOT a team meeting?
- Folk management
- Double Trouble
- WANTED: systemsy stuff to cheer me up
- The secret management model that must not be named
- Why WIFFY’s are bad and to be squashed at birth
- First they came for the desks, and nobody said NUFFINK
- Vanity of vanities, all is vanity OR Why webstats don’t exist
- One more time… Why values are a pile of cobbler’s
- How i learned to skip with Toyota
- The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
- There are only 6 graphs you’ll ever see on a performance report and they’re all rubbish. Here they are.
- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
- I am totally positive
- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
- The Law Of The Instrument
- Reality has a liberal bias
- Why killing Sweat Angels is the most valuable work I do all day
- Cloud cuckoo-land
- Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a pony
- One weird trick to design your organisation, in one easy step! (Management consultants will HATE you!)
- The Varieties of Human Work
- There really is only one test!
- The Curious Case Of The Chart That Didn’t Bark In The Night
- Looking good, Billy Ray!
- Computers are weird
- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- all wrong change clarity of purpose command and control communication customer data deming experiment human brains are weird information knowledge leadership learning me doing it plans plausible but untrue psychology public sector purpose questions statistics systems thinking systems thinking in housing benefits systemz comix targets thinking Uncategorized vanguard method very short posts
- 95% system 5% individual
- all wrong
- ashbys law
- Call centres
- chris argyris
- clarity of purpose
- cognitive bias
- Command and control
- command and control thinking
- control charts
- customer service
- daniel kahneman
- defensive culture
- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
- failure demand
- get knowledge
- John Seddon
- kittens are evil
- lean thinking
- local authority
- made to stick
- nassim taleb
- performance management
- performance reports
- policy officer
- public sector
- Seth Godin
- signal and noise
- single loop learning
- some people hate systems thinking
- systems thinking
- systems thinking fundamentals
- systemz comix
- thinking not tools
- thinking system performance
- Vanguard method
- Very short posts
- Zombie Deming
Category Archives: command and control
I’ve got an eleven year old in final year of primary school and Ofsted are ruining his education. Next week is SATS week. In that week children of the same age all around the country will be tested on how … Continue reading
Meet the loneliest whale in the world. She doesn’t speak the same language as other whales so they can’t hear her. This is the same as systemsy talking. Once your mental model changes from stupid ol’ command and control to … Continue reading
Step 1: Do something that doesn’t solve the customer’s problem for them. Step 2: Err… that’s it. A fellow onion informs me of the fantastic efforts of a Government benefits department to create phonecalls from nothing. The department has to pay … Continue reading
******I’ve had feedback that these Gifs will take forever to load. They’re not static pics. That’s just your net speed. But it’s worth the wait, they’re HILARIOUS I promise you ******* There’s a cult of work as pure activity in … Continue reading
A council faced with an IT product WILL buy it in the end. It’s like holding in a fart. Sooner or later it’s going to happen, and nothing can hold it back forever.
Public Sector bodies waste huge amounts of money on total balls. One of the most futile are the self-created league tables of performance indicators, showing where their organisation is on sorted lists against other similar organisations. Even though the government got rid … Continue reading
All children in Rotherham are safe. Sounds pretty sick doesn’t it? These aren’t my words, they are what the “Performance & Quality” team of Rotherham Council said here. Look…. This is a coloured scorecard, green signifies that that particular “theme” … Continue reading
Remember when I used to hate triangles? Still do. So here’s my most hate filled post about them from 2 years ago, to advertise ThinkPurpose’s Christmas break. Ho ho ho, etc
There’s always been a strong tang of resigned self pity running through this blog, like the reek of faeces in a brace of grilled andouillettes. This post however should truly please the connoisseur of bleak despair. Read on, and enjoy … Continue reading
I am not a dog. You are probably not a dog. So if you aren’t a dog why do you need…training? I was doing some work with a service and before we had even started gathering data, the number one … Continue reading
As per previous post, there are many types of Joke Jobs in C&C land. Here are 9 ways to tell you might have one of them. You type a lot of words. If you’re typing, try speaking. If there’s too … Continue reading
I think “manager” is a Joke Job. I feel sorry for the people who are managers, they’ve been duped into believing that working hard and doing things right will be rewarded with a bigger and better job. In fact they’ve … Continue reading
I’ve concocted 25 suggestions, questions, hints and tips for a colleague policy officer who has seen the systemsy light yet still faces the task that everybody else hasn’t. Here they are. One just might work. All might be complete duff. No … Continue reading
Public sector organisations don’t really like customers. They’d prefer you’d go away and stop making all your unreasonable demands that are quite frankly BANKRUPTING them. You keep ringing them up, walking through the door even, and worse… asking to speak to … Continue reading
. This is what happens in every organisation I’ve been in when someone more important asks someone less important for something. The someone-less-important doesn’t feel they can ask more about what it is that is needed, as the someone-more-important has … Continue reading
There is a golden thread But it’s not the one you think… The golden thread, as imagined by Local Government bods everywhere, is the imaginary reason why people do things at work that connects their everyday activity to some supreme overarching … Continue reading
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will … Continue reading
You’ll not find it in the expected places… Strategy is not in a PowerPoint or a document. Strategy doesn’t happen in meeting rooms or on the top floor. Strategy is in management thinking about work, their assumptions about how it … Continue reading
Regular readers will be shrugging at the easiness of this quiz, but the rest of you… Is it Eric the scavenger? He is black, poor and the only one with a roof above his head that is made of corrugated … Continue reading
Performance Management doesn’t manage performance. Distance from the work doesn’t provide senior leaders with a strategic view. Distance provides distance. Signing off reports does not ensure quality. It ensures they are slightly worse. Not doing the right thing because “we’ve … Continue reading
“Say what you see” is the latest tagline of this blog. What I see every day is people creating pieces of paper to take into a room for people to look at and decide if they like that piece of … Continue reading
A philosophy club is starting soon at my son’s school. For 5 weeks, for one hour after lessons they will… “have the opportunity to think outside the box and explore new ideas that they may not have the chance to … Continue reading
This is from the book “12 Years as a slave” by Solomon Northup, describing how cotton picking was managed on the plantation. “An ordinary day’s work is two hundred pounds. A slave who is accustomed to picking, is punished, if … Continue reading
We know it makes you stupid, but if you still think plans, policies and strategies are Good Things, why not spend your day acting according to a document written 6 months ago by a complete stranger? Try it.. You could have … Continue reading
THANKS ZOMBIE DEMING! Enough of systems thinking, let’s talk stupid. Stupid is normally easy to spot. It’s walking into doors, slipping over banana skins and the like. But what happens if “stupid” is so normal, that nobody notices it? What … Continue reading
Where could stressed staff retreat to to escape the hurly burly of organisational life? The endless complexity, troubling questions with no immediate answers and the work that won’t work, where to go to escape it and be rejuvenated by something … Continue reading
Who wags the tail? Spot wags the tail. Who wags the tail where you work? I have learnt that everything starts with the customer. Resident, patient or pupil, whoever When they contact the doctor/council/police/whatever that’s where things start. You: -start … Continue reading
I’ve been in a meeting today! How can I tell how successful the meeting was? Measure it! With numbers! -it was held in room 42 -it lasted 75 minutes -there were 10 people -there was 1 PowerPoint -I ate 2 … Continue reading
I’m a Policy Expert! YOU TOO can be a Policy Expert if you follow these simple steps! Step 0: DON’T follow what other Policy Experts do. Most self-proclaimed Policy Experts write up policies, they don’t change things so that policy … Continue reading
Here are some giddy people finding out what is a more effective method, batch and queue or 1-piece flow. They are competing enveloping letters to find out the difference in speed and quality of work produced when using these 2 … Continue reading
1. They encourage people to pretend to be someone they are not “Lie to us well enough, and your in”, is the very first message a prospective employee receives. This is not a healthy way to start any type of … Continue reading
Has she got it? Well, has she? This is what I’ve heard people ask, if someone has got it or not. Meaning systems thinking. Of course. It’s not like getting the measles, I know that, but I’ve been puzzled for … Continue reading
Seth told us today how to tell who is important in an organization by using coloured badges. In an important project his company had worked out the “critical path”, the things that had to be done before anything else could … Continue reading
What’s worse? A dreamer or a cynic? Seth Godin posted his answer to that question last week. And got it all wrong.. So wrong, that here it is in full. Let’s see what he has to say… The selfish cynic … Continue reading
Rule 1: Twerking is not the same as working! If you worked here how could you know what “work” actually was? You’ve only seen twerking. If you work in a place where you get your purpose from the mouth of a … Continue reading
How needy are YOU? Take this test to find out! Question 1 How much do you want to feel loved? A: I am a strong independent soul who doesn’t need but will gratefully accept loving. B: I need a cuddle. If … Continue reading
Everyone knows Godwin’s Law, the First Law Of The Internet that broadly says in an internet argument the first person to invoke comparisons with the Nazis has lost. I think this is unfair, not on the Nazis obviously, but on … Continue reading
It is your first day at work. You are wearing your interview suit, slightly nervous. You sign lots of forms, then eventually are shown to your new desk. Lying on top of your computer’s keyboard is a single sheet of … Continue reading
80% of conclusions drawn from Big Data are incorrect.[link] The UK government is investing £64 million in Big Data. [link] I was fooled by Big Data, you don’t have to be. Here is my story. Years ago I worked in an … Continue reading
Ho, ho, ho! But stop! This can be very serious indeed. Ever asked someone why something is being done, and they’ve replied by pointing to something somewhere else, some plan? They’re just turtles too! No, it doesn’t happen. But people pretend … Continue reading
Tell someone that targets don’t work, and it’s like telling them someone had just died. In a way it has, a small bit of their mind has ceased to be, the bit that made sense of work and how it … Continue reading
Managers working in the public sector are starving poor people because they are too lazy to bother picking up a book. Yes, I said that. The above graph shows the reasons why people are turning to food banks because they … Continue reading
If I worked in a real job I mightn’t care, as I’d have the job to care about so I might never have got interested. But I don’t, so I did. My job is promoting and implementing an incorrect theory. … Continue reading
You walk into a pub and ask the barman… And he says… You’d be annoyed and amazed. And you’d remain thirsty. How likely is that? Well, remember when I decided to buy a bike? Remember this man? ‘Course you do, and … Continue reading
1: It thinks you care most about big projects Name several things you care about your Council doing right. It might be making sure the roads aren’t full of pot-holes. Or keeping your street free of litter and graffiti. Perhaps … Continue reading
The Germans have a language that seems a bit like Lego. You can stick lots of little bits together to make a new one that has never existed before. This way they can make all sorts of useful new words … Continue reading
There was a ruckus earlier between me and ICT. There was an “engagement exercise” where they came to my floor on a specific day and time, for us to “see how they work” and for them to give us “tips … Continue reading