- There is no such thing as “performance” to be “managed”
- Plans are monitored instead of reality.
- It involves people completely ignorant about an area of complex work making judgements on it using a coloured shape. Invariably a green one.
- It is a job that self selects for people who aren’t interested in how it all works, and therefore remain ignorant of the flawed mind-set that it relies on, because if they do find out, they leave. Or if they are lazy, stay and type an embittered blog about it.
- It requires statistical innumeracy. For reason, see point 4 above.
- It costs an average large organisation at least £500,000 in annual total salary alone, across an organisation, for practically zero benefit.
- I wrote an annual performance plan for the corporate part of an organisation,( ICT, procurement, finance etc) that included the corporate performance area, in two nights sitting at my dining room table. In complete ignorance of any of the work I was writing about using only several scrappy notes from the Senior Leader in charge of who also was completely ignorant of the work. That plan was then used to report performance using coloured shapes (see point 3) for the next 2 years. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
- It wastes the time, potential and talent of everybody involved all along the reporting chain.
- Deming, Seddon, Ackoff, Senge, Ohno. Read ’em and weep.
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- So long, and thanks for all the fish
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- I am a police officer.
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- Toads
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- If it’s too complicated to understand it’s probably total nonsense
- Can you count up to 8?
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- I am totally negative
- Thor describes my purpose
- I openly mock Myers Briggs, but an INTP would do
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- Looking good, Billy Ray!
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- We’re number 2! We’re number 2! Yay us! Now who’s US exactly?
- I am an average employee
- How to be hopelessly untrendy
- Why you SHOULDN’T try to improve performance measures!
- The sun is in Uranus
- Lean, ISO and 6 Sigma all walk into a bar. Hilarity ensues.
- Three Reasons Why National Customer Service Week Is Rubbish! Again!
- What’s the purpose of a-SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
- How to have an organisational detox!
- Your job is not what you think it is
- This mug cost £224,000,000
- Wanted: idle, indifferent and irresponsible staff for absurd work.
- You are no Daniel Kahneman, sir, and I would have you unhand me before I call the gendarmie
- all wrong change clarity of purpose command and control communication customer data deming experiment human brains are weird information knowledge leadership learning me doing it plans plausible but untrue psychology public sector purpose questions statistics systems thinking systems thinking in housing benefits systemz comix targets thinking Uncategorized vanguard method very short posts
- 95% system 5% individual
- all wrong
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- customer
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- daniel kahneman
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- deming
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- don't let the bastards grind you down
- double loop learning
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- failure demand
- Flow
- get knowledge
- IT
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- kittens are evil
- leaders
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- single loop learning
- some people hate systems thinking
- statistics
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- targets
- teams
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- Thinking
- thinking not tools
- thinking system performance
- value
- Vanguard method
- variation
- Very short posts
- Zombie Deming
Can I add a couple to 9: Shewhart, Weiner, Bertalanffy & Snowden!
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Reblogged this on Nosapience's Blog and commented:
KISS … need I say anymore?
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It strikes me that it is perfectly possible to differentiate performance for say, Olympic 100 meter sprinters.
For Olympic ice skaters it is not quite so clear cut, the judges all watch the same performance but give different scores.
For jugglers who are juggling with each other, lets call it team work, it is even less clear cut. Was it the bloke who threw the ball or the one who dropped it who screwed up?
And for jugglers who are working as a team in the back of a lorry that is being driven across a ploughed field for 12 months whilst the judges peer into the back of the lorry for 5 minutes every week or so…
Have I got reason 10 buried in there somewhere?
James
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And 11.
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Reblogged this on arthur~battram… and commented:
Hoping this one might cheer up my chum in the RubyCorner*.
*There are 4 corners in my space. The one in the top left is red in colour. On StarTrek they call corners quadrants. Performance Management is a Vulcan plot, designed to vitiate humans. PM was originally developed by the Borg collective who hail from the Delta quadrant. There be dragons. And Borg. BTW, the Borg collective purchased PWC about 10 years ago. Shh, its a secret.
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