BREAKING NEWS! The Olympics has been rocked by a doping scandal!

People have been turning themselves into big fat dopes by polluting their minds with toxins in an attempt to try and improve performance!

No, not another athlete caught using Anabolic Steroids, instead these toxins are Anabollox Haemorrhoids , so called as they are a pile of bollocks and a pain in the arse.

They are far more dangerous as they directly affect the users brain functioning, allowing them to jump to conclusions much quicker than otherwise and make giant leaps of the imagination.

Anabollox Haemorrhoids comes in various types, the two identified at these Olympics are described below.

Ranking and Benchmarking

“The Olympic Charter states that the Olympic Games are competitions between athletes and not between countries, and even goes so far as to prohibit the IOC from producing an official ranking of countries’ performance.

But for the rest of us, the temptation to rank nations by their sporting prowess is irresistible.” [link]

This type of Anabollox Haemorrhoids causes an irresistible urge to rank and compare countries, in defiance of both the Olympic Charter and also “reality”. Users leap to fantastical comparisons, looking at “medal tallies” or “hauls” which are street lingo for “totals”, between such look-a-like countries as Bermuda and China.

The high is brief and is soon followed by a crash, where the Anabollox Haemorrhoids user will often complain about “apples and oranges”.


“Team GB officials have urged the public and the media not to panic over their lack of gold medals by suggesting things will change on Wednesday.

But the executives responsible for funding British Olympic sport, UK Sport, have also admitted they are considering reducing by 10 their maximum medal target of 70.”

This type of Anabollox Haemorrhoids dopes users into an unreal state by taking their focus from what they can do to what they would quite like a future reality to be. One is real and controllable, the other unrealised and uncontrollable.

The use of “Targets” can be combated by an anti-doping agent called “reality”. Clive Woodward, the GB Director of Elite Performance gives a good example of this.

“I think the more knowledge you’ve got the better chance you have of applying it and the more you can think about this […] So it’s no different to taking penalties, it’s to understand the process, an understanding of how you should be practicing it. “

Getting knowledge and concentrating on the work improves performance.  In comparison targets are not a short-cut to improved performance, they make it worse.

Don’t be a dope, avoid Anabollox Haemorrhoids! 

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